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Can you give your child too much attention?

I have had fantastic feedback from lots of mummies and daddies who have tried the reward bottle that I mentioned in an earlier post http://thewonderfulworldoftillie.blogspot.com/2011/03/bye-bye-tantrums.html

I just thought I would update you. I cannot believe the difference a few little changes have made.

I realised that perhaps I was giving Tillie too much attention and she was becoming increasingly demanding and it was beginning to get a little bit too much as she wouldn't even go to her daddy as she knew that Mummy would do as she wanted.

I decided to try and give her a little bit more space, in a morning instead of getting up as soon as I hear her, I now stay in bed and listen to her for a while, she is quite happy to talk to her bunny and sing and dance.

I am encouraging her to play by herself instead of dragging me and sitting me on the floor, I show her some toys and start a game off but then slowly back away and leave her, a few minutes later you can hear her playing beautifully.

At one time she would be throwing a temper tantrum every time I walked out of the room; she seems to be a much calmer child there is a lot less stress and hardly any head banging. The reward bottle really has made a difference too.

Nappy changing time was becoming a challenge, the reward bottle and since I have backed off a little bit all I have to say is - "Tillie I have a very special story to tell you"...she runs over and lays down on the changing mat herself, I tell her a story whether it is a made up one with her favourite characters or all about a little girl called Tillie.

"I know a very beautiful girl called Tillie, she has two big eyes, a cute button nose.....etc..." Tillie is very happy pointing her eyes out and clapping until she is changed, often now she refuses to get up until I tell her another story! It is incredible to watch, my OH cannot believe it.

She seems so much happier in herself and of course this has huge effect on the rest of the house. I can now clean and tidy without the tempers because I wasn't playing with her, she even helps me she loves dusting!

I feel like I am actually achieving something in a day now, and have an empty washing basket woo hoo! It really is the little things that make such a big difference.

We still have lots of quality time where we sit and read or have crazy dancing sessions and play lots of lovely games but the difference is Tillie enjoys it and so do i. There is none of the head banging because I didn't pick up the right teddy bear or say the right thing, we just have a lovely time together as a family.

I read that parents struggle to give their child 15 minutes quality time a day, that is without the distractions of TV, mobile phones, making a hot drink, cleaning.....I was struggling to find 15 minutes to do any of the above as I was giving Tillie all of my attention which backfired.

I wonder if that is true, we do have so many distractions nowadays, can you honestly say that you give your child at least 15 minutes attention without checking your phone or changing channel, or cooking tea?.... It is much harder than you think.

Were you like me and gave your child too much attention? I would love to hear your stories

Comments

  1. Your post has had me looking back over my day....did I give Holly the attention she needed? Most days I would say yes, but I know that her obsession with her toy phone comes from me and that is scary. I try not to let it get in the way and I'm sure frends/family think I am rude either not answering or returning calls until sometimes days later.

    Another thought provoking post! x

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