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From an outsiders point of view

We were in our local town centre; there is a new retail park where there are a few water features. The parking is reasonable and you can buy pretty much get everything you need which makes life so much easier! There is even a couple of coffee bars which serve yummy cakes so we often sneak in there when tots is asleep (due to her being allergic to egg, we can only eat cake when she is asleep otherwise she cannot understand why she isn't allowed any and I would never let her watch me eating it bless her)

Tillie had been asleep and we managed to sneak a coffee and cake in before she woke up, the coffee bar we were in was right opposite the water feature, there is a wall around for people to sit on and the feature is like a few water sprinklers which go on and off. When tots woke up I got her out of the pushchair ad let her have a run around, she was giggling and I was swinging her as I normally do, I then let her walk along the wall and she sat herself down and I was singing a song to her and she was dancing, just things I never even give a second thought to. I saw a couple looking at us, then then approached me and said "We have to tell you that you are the first mother that we have seen since we have been in England that genuinely loves being a mother, we have so far seen people screaming, swearing and shouting at their children, it is not good, we are pleased to see a young woman playing and giving their child attention, thank you" they walked off.

I couldn't take it as a compliment, of course I was happy that people can see how much I love Tille but I was far more shocked and sadden by this, I remember seeing a woman in a high street shoe shop when I was taking Tillie for her first shoes, there was a girl who was about 6 years old, on the wall was a ticket machine where you pull a numbered ticket to join the queue, this girl ran over and started pulling the tickets out. To me I thought there was no way I would have let me child do that in the first place, but her mother's reaction was "get here now you little s**t pack it in you're doing my head in I will sort you out when you get home" she then swiped this little girl across her bum.

I was horrified, I stood there in complete shock and disbelief, I would have said something but didn't want to cause a scene and thought that the sales woman would already be in a very awkward situation as it was, I wouldn't have been comfortable serving this woman.

I really get so upset hearing people in the street "OI get 'ere now you're doing my head in, get ere or I’m gonna smack you"

If people are talking like this in front of people then I really dread to think how they talk to their child in their own home. Is this becoming 'the norm' is this almost acceptable in todays society? I really struggle to deal with this.

I have seen many people who take their children out and just ignore them, this is partly why I do not go to groups as I have been to a couple and cannot get over how mums/child-minders just see it as an excuse to let their kids run wild whilst they have a good chat. Then they are the first to say something if they child hurt themself.

I am very proud to say that I enjoy being a mum and still get shocked when people's response when I say I do not want any more children is "why when you love it so much?" Just because I love being a mum doesn't mean I need to have lots of children, We are quite happy just with Tillie.

Do you react when you hear parents shouting at their children? What do you do if you see someone smacking theirs? What is going on with our society isn't it sad that this is British mother's are being portrayed?


  1. So silly to ask me! I just can not hold my tongue and will admit to speaking out of terms to some “so called mothers” who think that screaming and shouting at their children is acceptable behaviour. I know of many who swear as part of daily life around and even to their kids, this disgusts me to be honest. Many of these kids learn swear words before everyday words. It does sadden me to see the look on these poor little faces when they are screamed and shouted at. I am a force to be reckoned with when I witness actual physical contact - when a mum has lost control and grabbed, dragged or hit a child in my view. I will ask her if she would like to be treat that way. Ads far as I am concerned if you have to scream, shout or lash out out your child, you really need to book yourself onto a parenting course, as your not doing a very good job of it! We all loose our cool at times, I have my shouting days, but when a one off day becomes everyday life is it any wonder so many children grow into adults with low self esteem and even bigger issues, due to their upbringing. A child is to be loved, valued and cherished not used as a “thing” to vent out your anger on!

  2. Smacking is a massive NO NO!!! It makes me want to go up to the parent, smack THEM on the hand or the bum and wait for them to ask what it was for.

    I've written about schools & society today (yesterday now) and how we need to clamp down on discipline before the whole of society gets out of control but it's not just me and all the "good mums" that blog that need to be pro-active, it's everyone else! How we do that, I have no idea.

  3. Before I was a mummy I remember being shocked to stand still watching people smack their children in public. I'd hate to imagine the reaction I'd have now!

  4. I can't understand mothers that smack their children, in public or not. My little one is only 15 weeks old so I haven't had to deal with a tantrum yet but I'd like to think that I will never get that cross with her that I woul ever resort to that.

    I am a new follower. :)

  5. I saw a woman today saying to the child she was with 'You're not even supposed to be here today, this is MY day, so don't you go F**in ruining it'! :O I was shocked to say the least!

  6. Hi I'm a new follower! I hate seeing smacking in public esp. There is such poor parenting in general, in this country-it makes me sick. I know it's such a tough job to be a parent but how tough is it to just be respectful and teach respect to your child???! x

  7. Oh God it makes my toes curl when I hear people shouting at their kids in public. I also can not bare it when people talk 'down' to their kids as if they have no feelings...It makes me so angry.

    Years ago when my 15 yr old was a toddler I let her out of her buggy to walk next me and like a whippit she made a dash for it...I managed to grab her just before she got to the road. My heart was racing. I strapped her back into the buggy and this woman came up to me and said "You need to slap her for doing that...Have some control woman!"
    I couldnt believe what I was hearing and told her to mind her own business, the cheeky cow.

    To me you have lost control if you need to smack.

  8. I live near a town where this, very sadly, seems to be the norm. Each time I see it happen, it makes me very sad but also incredibly angry. The smacking bothers me a lot but to be honest hearing the way they talk to their kids bothers me even more. To think that they will grow up thinking that it's normal for their mummy to talk to them like a piece of s**t makes me very, very sad.

  9. How timely your post is, I was just thinking about it yesterday. Thanks for being brave and talking about it too, because as an outsider, I am often hesitant in case I'm seen as being 'judgemental'.

    The thing I've noticed is that, a lot of bad mums, british or otherwise, don't really set limits or consequences and as a results, the children push and push the boundaries and then it gets to the point that they (the mums) just 'lose it' suddenly.

    The whole idea of consistency is out the window, because let's face it, setting limits and then seeing them through is actually really hard.
    I'm well known, among Georgia's friends' mums, as one person who always carries out my threats. I have taken her off the park (among a crowd of friends having a good time) because she chose first to ignore and then to defy.

    There's also a certain element of 'me-ness', I think, that we as mum's need to keep our ideas, ideals and lifestyle, regardsless and the children have to fit in, and I think this contributes to how some people see their children, and therefore behave accordingly.

    It's a hard one, raising children, but 'do what I say, don't do what I do',certainly doesn't work! Sorry it's such a long comment... *sheepish look*


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