I always said I never wanted children, this was mainly due to the fact that we didn't think we could have any so it was easier to tell people I didn't want them just so that I didn't have to explain problems and I certainly didn't want people to feel sorry for me!
I always thought that I was too selfish to have children, how could I look after someone that needed my undivided attention and more importantly how would I know what to do? My mum knew everything, she had all the answers! I knew nothing! I even started to think that it must just be programmed into you that when you became a mum all of the answers would just be there, well as I found out, I don't know everything but I can certainly make a lot of it up as i go along!
How do we just magically know what to say to children to make them feel better, where does the 'magic fairy dust' come from to make that naughty pain go away? We know just the right songs to make those tears dry up and see their faces light up when we say Mr Teddy wants to come to the picnic. In the middle of the night when they can't sleep and just need a cuddle and they feel better again. How about when you are going for a walk but the walk turns into an adventure and you are looking for treasure, how do we makes stones seem exciting - I have no idea but it somehow works!
I would never have imagined that I would be happily sitting playing picnics at 5o'clock in the morning when I would usually just be crawling in from a night out; the scary thing is I wouldn't change it for the world. I honestly wouldn't. I absolutely totally and utterly adore every second.
I think a lot of people expected me to be round at my mums all of the time and going out for nights every week, not that there is anything wrong with that at all - but I am quite happy in our own little world, I would rather be playing with Tillie all day then getting a good night sleep ready for the next day of fun, plus I have no idea how people manage to look after a baby with a hangover, I just couldn't! Don't get me wrong, I do think that it is important to go out together and let your hair down, but I would just prefer not to, maybe this is because of running the pub and seeing people all the time, it is nice to just sit upstairs and relax.
I am waiting for the time when Tillie asks me a question that I don't know the answer to, at the minute when she asks where the moon has gone, it has of course 'gone to bed', when she asks to go to the park at 6am the 'swings are sleeping', it is very cute when we go later and she says "morning swings" I can get away with this at the minute, I don't fancy my chances when she gets older and asks me more complicated things!
Even now if my mum tells me something I believe her, see even though i am 26, I am sure I saw Santa in the sky when I was 8 years old, mum still tells me that i did! I still think if my mum tells me something it must be true.
We make things sounds magical and adventurous, so I guess in a way as long as our children believe us that's all that matters, I suppose to them we do know everything and always will! (Until they become a teenager!)
I always thought that I was too selfish to have children, how could I look after someone that needed my undivided attention and more importantly how would I know what to do? My mum knew everything, she had all the answers! I knew nothing! I even started to think that it must just be programmed into you that when you became a mum all of the answers would just be there, well as I found out, I don't know everything but I can certainly make a lot of it up as i go along!
How do we just magically know what to say to children to make them feel better, where does the 'magic fairy dust' come from to make that naughty pain go away? We know just the right songs to make those tears dry up and see their faces light up when we say Mr Teddy wants to come to the picnic. In the middle of the night when they can't sleep and just need a cuddle and they feel better again. How about when you are going for a walk but the walk turns into an adventure and you are looking for treasure, how do we makes stones seem exciting - I have no idea but it somehow works!
I would never have imagined that I would be happily sitting playing picnics at 5o'clock in the morning when I would usually just be crawling in from a night out; the scary thing is I wouldn't change it for the world. I honestly wouldn't. I absolutely totally and utterly adore every second.
I think a lot of people expected me to be round at my mums all of the time and going out for nights every week, not that there is anything wrong with that at all - but I am quite happy in our own little world, I would rather be playing with Tillie all day then getting a good night sleep ready for the next day of fun, plus I have no idea how people manage to look after a baby with a hangover, I just couldn't! Don't get me wrong, I do think that it is important to go out together and let your hair down, but I would just prefer not to, maybe this is because of running the pub and seeing people all the time, it is nice to just sit upstairs and relax.
I am waiting for the time when Tillie asks me a question that I don't know the answer to, at the minute when she asks where the moon has gone, it has of course 'gone to bed', when she asks to go to the park at 6am the 'swings are sleeping', it is very cute when we go later and she says "morning swings" I can get away with this at the minute, I don't fancy my chances when she gets older and asks me more complicated things!
Even now if my mum tells me something I believe her, see even though i am 26, I am sure I saw Santa in the sky when I was 8 years old, mum still tells me that i did! I still think if my mum tells me something it must be true.
We make things sounds magical and adventurous, so I guess in a way as long as our children believe us that's all that matters, I suppose to them we do know everything and always will! (Until they become a teenager!)
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