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Do other people's opinions bother you?

I guess I am in the unique position of being surrounded by people in the pub all of the time and people tend to comment probably more than in a normal every day situation some good, some bad. Do I care what other people think? As much as I would like to say no, I really do!

I have mentioned in the past, Tillie tots really isn't very people friendly, I was getting stared at today because we were in a card shop and she was pointing out and telling me the names of all of the characters that she recognised. I could hear people commenting on how well she was doing for her age, but then a lady walked by and touched her hand and said "what a clever girl", Tillie is really scared especially of strangers, I still do not know why as she sees them ALL the time! Maybe she sees too many people that she cannot work out who is who, but this lady felt awful and apologised profusely, I really wasn't cross as she was only being friendly and most other children would love the attention - but not my little girl. I could see other people who walked into the shop looking at my daughter who was very distressed at being approached by a kind lady and I did my best to carry on talking about other characters I could see and she soon calmed down.

This is getting to be a regular occurrence now, Tillie is the happiest little girl when she is just with us and my mum, but put her in a situation where she is surrounded by people or people try and approach her (even my family who she sees often) she becomes distressed and starts crying or clinging on to me. It is a shame people do not see her for the happy little girl who sings and dances all day long to us.
I am getting fed up of comments such as one I received one on Sunday from a lady in her 80's "oh what on earth is wrong with her, is she always like this? I feel sorry for you, she is nothing like you, let’s hope she grows out of it and soon and develops a lovely temperament like her mother"
As a mum I find these comments extremely hurtful and I am extremely protective, why do people think they have the right to comment on my little girl! The fact is Tillie isn't being naughty when she is crying, it isn't a whingey cry it is an actual terrified cry and I am not prepared to cause her more distress, I am hoping that she will grow out of it but do not need other people telling me how I should look after my own child.

I am especially shocked with some comments I have received from ladies in their 70's and 80's telling me that in their day they didn't have time to play with the children and left them sat in their prams and then they wonder why children of today are so advanced!

I have also received comments that children 'shouldn't be pushed' and I must be pushing her for her to be so 'advanced'. I do not see how you can force a 17 month old child to learn! Tillie loves singing and dancing we have so much fun together! Yes she knows that the moon is round and can read some words and says things like "mummy where are my toes....there they are" and loves to try to sing the alphabet and sings along to a bit of Tom Jones. But you cannot force these things on a child! Tillie certainly wouldn't do something if she didn't want to do it; her favourite word is "no"! She just has picked things up such as when she was little I used to count the stairs to the pub and have always done it so it has just come naturally!

Do other's opinions hurt you? Would you say something if someone said something that upset you? I am one of those people who make a polite excuse to leave, then moan to poor Nick about it, unless it is really rude then I do tell them!

Comments

  1. I really don't let comments like that upset me...I brush them off very quickly. My eldest was very clingy to the point of it being a bit embarrassing if family members visited and he would hide. I would try and encourage him to be social but very gently. He is 21 now and extremely sociable. He is now longer shy and anxious of strangers. Some kids are just shy...Dont let people get to you. Welcome positive advice...ignore negativity x

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  2. Of course comments hurt but the best gift you can give you children is the gift of teflon skin. I get it from every side, everyday. And like Superman, I deflect. Otherwise it cuts too deep. Can't please all them people...

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  3. Its annoying when people apply adult rules about social conduct to babies or toddlers. They aren't adults and people should not expect them to respond as though they are. I get irritated on my toddlers behalf when people expect him to respond to them because they have chosen to initiate social contact. Often when a toddler is deeply involved in one activity e.g. naming characters, somebody or something else inserting itself into this activity can be shocking or jarring for them. Their mental picture is different from ours as they are not able to filter information as quickly, and are not yet conversant in all the cultural shortcuts we learn as we grow up.

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